25 posts tagged “experience”

... it's one bad thing after the other, and it just keeps getting worse. I don't know why it always happens that way... something goes wrong and it all goes downhill from there. One unlucky event seems to set off a chain of unlucky incidents. *sighs*

Round 1

This morning I had to take money out because I had no cash with me, and I had to buy my train ticket. So like every other morning I've done this I went to an ATM. Everything seemed to be going fine until that part where the screen reads: "Your transaction is being processed. Please wait...". stayed on the screen for over five minutes... the screen had frozen, the atm was not responding to anything I was pressing... ten minutes later I was hesitating if I should go in the bank to tell them, I didn't want to risk leaving and someone taking my card if the atm suddenly got fixed, but nothing was happening so... I had to go in. I queue and then told them what was going on. They let me withdraw some cash, and then made it so that I could use my debit card to get money out of my savings account. Before leaving I decided to check the atm again. To my surprise it was back to normal, and as I suspected... my card wasn't there any more. I'm not sure what happened, but my guess is that the atm started working again, it ejected my bank card and someone took it... so, I had to go back in the bank to report my card as stolen. Another queue up... and another transaction.

Round 2

As I predicted I got to class much later than usual (OK fine yes, I'm always late.. but not THIS late). I had an interview to go to in the city today,at 2. I calculated that I had to leave uni and walk to the station at around 12:30. I looked up at the clock in the classroom and it read 11:30, so I just kept hoping class would be over before I had to go. Thankfully, passing notes in class (as we always do =P) my friend made me realise that we had recently gone through daylight savings, and that meant we were an hour forward. So what I thought was 11:30, was actually 12:30... clearly, I freaked out and realised I had to leave NOW. I got to the station late and I missed the train. There was NO other train until another 40 mins late, and now it was CERTAIN I was going to be late for my interview.

Round 3

I decided I had to get some money and catch a taxi to Campbelltown station. I went into Macarthur square, to another ANZ atm and used my debit card. Unfortunately, because I very rarely used it... I realised I'd forgotten my pin. So after a few tries the atm decided to RETAIN my card... so now, I had NO bank cards left, I had very little cash on me, and no way to get some... besides going into a bank again. I didn't have time to go through another queue, so I just hoped the cash I had with me would be enough. I went outside and started looking for a taxi stop. I found one, and ten minutes after *sighs* a taxi arrived. That was ten dollars just to get to the station. Once there I had to buy a single ticket to the city, I didn't have money for a return one. I figured once I'd get there I'd go to a bank and fix everything... hopefully.

After that it all went OK... but I was certainly a wreck.

Maybe this doesn't sound really bad right now, and I know it could have been much much worse, so I'm not trying to be a nag. But I swear to God... in the moment it was just a matter of looking up a the sky and thinking WHYYY GOD???!!! WHYYY?????!!!!! I thought crying was childish... but I certainly considered it.

*sighs*

When it rains... IT POURS.

Never been a fan of it, or very interested, and I say that with no shame =P but these past few months (has it been months already????) I've been going at least once a week (now I go three times a week). It all started because I wanted to see my friends really, I never got the chance to anymore and I thought it'd be a good opportunity, plus I figured some exercise wouldn't hurt me (LOLLL how WRONG I was! =P). The very first day there I felt SOOO out of place... weird and awkward, the only thing I could think of was 'WHAT am I doing here???? I don't belong here...' the next couple of weeks were alright... but lately, I dunno why but... I'll have to make a confession *drum rolls* I... am... getting into it... *gasps* Yes I know, I'm shocked too. I'm a lazy person, exercise was something I would usually laugh at =P but I have to say... even though it's still difficult and painful sometimes (seriously... it HURTS) I've started to feel the changes. I feel different... my body feels different and I feel capable of things I know I couldn't have done before. I guess it's true what they say, exercise IS good for you. So I'm not a gym person (not yet anyway... who knows what'll happen next...) but I am really starting to get into it. Who would have thought... I certainly didn't.

When I was little I remember waking up in the middle of the night because my dad had a cramp and he was in pain, I remember seeing him and feeling very confused because I didn't know what was happening. Every now and then now I wake up in the middle of the night exactly the same way he did, I have a cramp and my leg hurts... and I think of him. It may sound weird but as painful as the whole thing is... it's kinda nice, not to have cramps or be in pain but... every time I find something of him that's been left in me... I like it. It makes me feel still connected to him, like it's something he left for me... and I know it's not the best example cos it hurts and it's not pleasant, and I don't like that... but still, it makes me feel like it's something we share. It still makes me feel like his daughter.

... the worst possible thing happens at the worst possible time? Like let's say for example your broadband internet goes down to dial-up speed right in the middle of your exams, making it painful to access the university website and get some notes off it, something that would usually last only a couple of minutes but now lasts about an hour...

Life really sucks sometimes...

That I always feel braver at night time... ? that suddenly my ideas come alive and I feel strong enough to make plans for things that the next morning... I'll question and doubt. Right now, it feels like almost anything is possible... like I could do it, cos I would just do it... many things that a lot of people would probably never understand, everything out of the ordinary seems like a dream I was always meant to achieve. But it's only for tonight, only for that one moment of excitement... tomorrow morning I'll start thinking, and things will begin to take a different shape. Yep, I'm definitely a night person.